Peaks and Valleys

Well they always say (who they is..i dunno..) that life is full of peaks and valleys and if this is true..well..im in a valley. Having my mom and dad come and visit (with the two "baby" sisters) was really nice. Having real meals and seeing some more of england was great but the visit was much to short and i found myself really sad to see them go (i know..who woulda thought i had familial emotion?). We spent the day in Bath which was beautiful compared to tiny little Hereford. We went to the ancient roman baths which were fascinating and even though there were recordings that you listened to with electric handsets instead of reading we still found ourselves waiting god knows how long for my dad to finish. i dont know what took him so long...im beginning to think he listened to every recording..twice.
On the first night we went to this really cute pub/restaurant tucked away in this tiny town in the middle of fields bascially. but it turned out to be an amazing find and was so delicious. the next night we went to a restaurant in ledbury which is the next town over and although the food was good the atmosphere wasnt quite as great as the night before. however after the crap ive been eating for the past two months i could have cared less as long as the food was better than muesli cereal and bread.
Now onto why im in a valley...
i think its a combination of alot of things why ive been so down lately:
a. riding has not been going well at all and i find that on every horse i get on i get off disappointed and frustrated. everything seems to go wrong on sultan, i spend whole lessons just trying to get devil to be through on the bit, and i feel like i fight teasle every step to remain closed on the left side (engaging his left hind end). I find that david has stopped helping so i end up riding around unable to effectively accomplish anything and then getting frustrated just causin the horses to tighten and then any hope of success is shot. although sometimes in the last (literally) two minutes of the ride ill finally get the horse going nicely and then boom..lesson over back to work. it gets really irritating.
b. the idea that im going home in (count em') 17 days and feel like ihave SOOO much more to learn is sort of a downer. on top of that i know im going home to no job (well actually thats fixed since ive been recruited to be sarah's babysitter for august), no money (hopefully somewhat fixed), no horse-life at school, a tough course load, and the stress of moving into my house makes me a bit anxious about returning home. as much as i complain about how bored i might be here or how little there is to do outside of working the idea of facing real life again is a bit stressful.
and the ice on top of the cake:
c. the crappy food here has made me feel so fat and disgusting that ive been trying to cut back on how much i eat making me hungry alot. however i find myself hungry and yet wanting no food because all the food here turns me off eating. but in typical martha form hungry=grumpy and therefore unhappy..i think the persistent rain doesnt help the situation any either. anyway, as lazy as i am and i much as i hate getting back into shape i will feel better once i lose some wieght and start feelign like an athlete again.
theres a possibility that i might vist alison (kaleight friend from queens) in ireland before heading over to holland but we'll have to see how much money i have left in my account and whether i can find cheap flights. but i would love to see ireland beforei fly back home.